I can't think why you might be curious, but just in case you are curious, this year, mosquitoes own Wisconsin. My rectangular patch of it, at the least. We've had unusual and copious amounts of summer rainfall, which apparently contributes to mosquito prosperity and mosquito fecundity. Plants desirable and not have also benefited. The yard is normally sere and semi-dormant by August, but this year there is lush greenery growing voluminously everywhere.
I just got in from attempting to do some weed-whacking in the back yard, trying to do my duty to fight back against the weeds. The insects were defending their homeland vigorously. I am bigger than they are, and fancy I have better technology. In most battles in my yard I like my chances (although the besieged juniper stump is still holding out). But the mosquitoes are guerrilla fighters. They are motivated, mobile, and greatly outnumber my forces. Their attacks are persistent and relentless. I withstood the one that flew into my eye, and the one that flew into my ear. I lasted until one of the little devils flew right down my throat. I have retreated.
(Left: Aerial map of battlefield)
The screens are sufficient to keep most of them out of the house. I often work until dusk shrouds my office in gloom, and this summer I not infrequently see the shape of a mosquito float serenely past between me and the monitor, in silhouette. This causes me to erupt in a frantic spasm of clapping. Sometimes I get them. Most times not. I have not given up the fight for the indoors.
Benjamin Franklin said that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. I believe it was an atheist, although it might not have been an atheist, who said that the existence of mosquitoes proves the opposite.
I plan to retake my territory and airspace for good at first frost.
Mike
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Original contents copyright 2010 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.
Featured Comment by John Scott: "Watch this. It will provide a) a humbling perspective on your problems and b) a highly satisfying revenge fantasy."
Mike replies: Very, very cool. Mini Star Wars! Like a lot of TED Talks, it's a long way to go if you don't have the time to spare, but worth it. For those of you who are busy, you could start at about ten minutes in—the preamble is that they're investigating eliminating malaria by figuring out ways to attack the mosquito.
Featured Comment by Michael: "A little story I call 'In the House of Compassion':
A while back—quite a while back—I was doing some research with Buddhist forest monks in Sri Lanka. At one monastery I was put up for the night in a separate house, a single-room cell which had been freshly whitewashed inside and out with the word for the Buddhist virtue of compassion (for all living beings) painted over the door. I had forgotten all my anti-mosquito paraphernalia, and as soon as I turned down the kerosene lantern to sleep, the attack began. Every few minutes through the night I would rise up and slap away at them. I missed most, but discovered in the morning light that those I had hit had something in common: they were the ones who had drunk my blood, which was smeared, with their guts, in little dark marks all over the fresh whitewash around the bed.
"I thought it best not to raise the topic with my hosts. Nor did they, gracious as they were, bring it up themselves."
Mike replies: . Funny! I have a similar story. I was once besotted with a girl whose mother had taken up with a fairly noted German theologian. This man had a philosophical aversion to taking any life at all—he was the type who would capture a spider and release it outdoors rather than kill it. Well, they moved to South America, and within two weeks, the German theologian had taken to standing quietly in the kitchen in the dark, then flipping on the light and hacking away in a frenzy at the inch-and-a-half-long cockroaches with a machete before they could scurry to cover.
We all have our limits!
Featured Comment by Andrea B.: "The husband was once bamfoozled by the sight of me dancing around a bit disheveled in the middle of the room waving the vacuum cleaner hose around in the air. 'Mosquito,' I sez. 'Carry on!' he sez."
Why fight it? If the local zoning
ordinances would allow it, I think
a "weed" garden would be lovely.
It would allow you more time for
golf,fishing,and going to the ball
game.
Posted by: paul logins | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 09:20 PM
Noooo prisonersssss!
Posted by: Chuck Albertson | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 09:25 PM
To be grateful that you have mosquitoes, talk to some deep Southerners about chiggers.
Posted by: John Sarsgard | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 09:25 PM
The best way to keep the mosquitoes out of your yard is to buy all of your neighbors bug zappers.
Carry on soldier.
Posted by: charlie | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 09:55 PM
So, you might as well get to know them...http://news.softpedia.com/news/30-Things-You-Did-Not-Know-About-Mosquitoes-62240.shtml
Posted by: Jeff | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 10:28 PM
As a long-time favorite of female mosquitoes, I almost literally feel your pain. There's not much you can do except make sure you have no standing water on your property and use DEET when you're outside. Installing bat houses (high up works best) will help long term.
Posted by: Steve | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 10:32 PM
Having spent many a summer at Fort McCoy in your great state, I can attest to the ferocity of your mosquitoes, but they don't hold a candle to those flying devils in Minnesota, where they are the state bird. Land of 10,000 lakes? Hah! Land of 10,000 mosquito incubators!
Posted by: John Sherpinskas | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 10:37 PM
Mike, keep up the fight ... **** critters. It has really been a wet, hot, humid and buggy summer.
Posted by: Bron | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 10:45 PM
Two words:
Citronella Pots
get six at any home improvement store,
locate then at the four corners of your battlefield, maybe a couple more near
where you like to sit...YOU WIN.
Posted by: Michael Shafitz | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 11:18 PM
Look on the bright side: there's no dengue fever epidemic to cope.
Greetings from the tropical side of the woods!
Posted by: Pedro Kok | Wednesday, 04 August 2010 at 11:33 PM
Mike ...
Storms of biblical intensity, plagues of biting things ... do the Wisconsin Tourist Board know about this site, and have they sued yet?
Posted by: James McDermott | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 12:35 AM
Since you have the ideal testing ground, can you try something like this: http://www.mosquitorepellent.com/how_it_works.asp and then let the rest of know the result?
Posted by: Craig Norris | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 12:47 AM
Never mind hordes of them - it only takes the mildest suspicion of one of them in the bedroom to relieve me of a night's sleep. Not to mention endless bouts of fruitless leaping, smacking and clapping. I wonder what an extra terrestial life-form would make of the antics of an earthperson locked up in a room with an apparently invisible foe.
Posted by: richard | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 12:57 AM
James,
Shhhh.
Mike
Posted by: Mike Johnston | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 01:21 AM
Not all that long after the dawn of time, all the creatures of the Earth gathered to take a vote on the fate of the newest creature to appear on their globe; the hairless apes from Africa called "humans."
The debate was spirited, as this vote had to be unanimous to remove the new creatures from the Earth. The Tigers had been hunted by the apes, as had the antelopes and even the aardvarks, and they, along with the elephants who had been enslaved by the humans, all pressed for a vote to banish the nearly hairless apes from their world. By the end of the long night, all the creatures in the world had decided to vote the humans off the planet, sensing that if left to their own devices, these apes would destroy the planet.
But, when the time to tally the vote came, there was a single vote FOR the humans.
"They're just so delicious! How could I go without my favorite food?" said the mosquito, thus saving all of humanity.
Posted by: Maggie Osterberg | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 01:43 AM
@Jeff - it's worth reading right to the end of your linked page, if merely for this one awkward/lovely example of synaesthesia: 32.Some plants with prickly scent can chase away the mosquitoes, like the garlic.
Posted by: richardplondon | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 03:01 AM
Watch this. It will provide (a) a humbling perspective on your problems and (b) a highly satisfying revenge fantasy.
www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/nathan_myhrvold_could_this_laser_zap_malaria.html
Posted by: John Scott | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 04:04 AM
I don't know whether you have Biokill spray over there. I can find European sites, South African and Hong Kong ones...
But if you can, I recommend spraying sills and all around your doors and windows, on the inside. Repeat after a month or so. Quite more effective than bug zappers. Harmless to warm-blooded critters like humans and dogs. BTW, spraying walls and ceilings would help even more.
Or if you're wary of chemicals, I'd suggest putting lavender flowers around the openings. Insects don't like them. Plus they smell nice.
For the outside, I'd suggest populating your yards with dragonflies, frogs, spiders and such. Particularly with dragonflies. They don't recognise property boundaries. :)
Posted by: erlik | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 05:50 AM
Bat houses! They are benign (Despite the legends about them!), and their favorite gourmet snack is—MOSQUITOES! Your local Agriculture agent should have plans for them and they are simple, cheap and easy to build.
I used to live in the woods of north Georgia (Until I heard banjos!) and when I installed six on my property and waited until the next spring so the human smell got out, I had bats.
Reduced my afflictions by the little beasts by 98% or more.
Posted by: Rob White | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 07:49 AM
One word, Mike: Malathion.
Posted by: Dave Polaschek | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 08:33 AM
While DEET based body sprays work the best, there are a couple of citronella based ones that are less toxic. As a person that frequents the swamps of South Carolina (home of B-52 sized mosquitoes), I recommend Badger bug-balm. Keep the can with you for re-application.
Posted by: D Carnagey | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 09:08 AM
Mike, if you haven't seen this yet, your heart is going to soar like an eagle.
Nathan Myhrvold is "a professional jack-of-all-trades. After leaving Microsoft in 1999, he's been a world barbecue champion, a wildlife photographer, a chef, a contributor to SETI, and a volcano explorer."
He has a company called Intellectual Ventures which, among other projects, tries to solve humanity's problems. A very big problem for humanity is malaria which has a mosquito vector.
Nathan's group has devised a household laser-powered mosquito killer that uses off-the-shelf components. I have read that they will market these devices for less than one of those bills you are stashing away in a book for your Sony DSLR purchase.
Here he is discussing his company's inventions to help solve third-world tropical medicine problems at a TED talk. The mosquito laser section starts about 9:30 in, but the whole presentation is fascinating.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/853
Posted by: Gingerbaker | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 09:31 AM
You might want to review the following from DPReview:
http://forums.dpreview.com/forums/readflat.asp?forum=1018&message=35953607&changemode=1
Apparently the insect guerrilla warfare can get even nastier.
Posted by: Jim | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 10:36 AM
http://insects.entomology.wisc.edu/Diptera/Culicidae/index.html (lots of pictures if you click on "images")
Enjoy!
Posted by: Will Sadler | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 11:06 AM
I think you need to rent one of those mosquito suckers - the machines with vacuums that emit carbon dioxide to attract the mosquitoes before slurping them up.
Posted by: Rana | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 11:46 AM
Someone suggested citronella pots. Over here in darkest Europe, where the mosquitoes make up for in wiliness what they may lack in stature, I use what is, essentially, a vapouriser. No, it doesn't vapourise the mosquitoes, sadly, but it does heat some oil contained in a small reservoir. Unlike citronella, the oil is largely odourless to humans and one small device is enough to rid an apartment of the vicious little bastards. I imagine there must similar, scaled-up, devices which can be deployed tactically throughout the warzone...erm, backyard... to ensure the vile sods go off and plague someone else. Hopefully.
The one really cunning thing about your humble mosquito is that the bites don't really register for a few hours, giving the perpetrator more than enough time to make good its getaway, unmolested. Bees and wasps, somewhat naively, make their unwelcome presence felt almost immediately so giving you time to deliver the necessary punitive retribution. They really don't get it.
Actually, I'm not sure if the cockroaches will end up inheriting the Earth after we've made ourselves extinct. They'll be battling the mosquitoes for the honour!
Posted by: Julian | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 12:34 PM
Many years ago, while serving in Vietnam with the U.S. Army, I awoke to find myself in midair, floating some three feet off of the ground.
Two mosquitoes had me in grip, one at the hands, the other at my feet.
The one at the feet asked the one at my head "Want to take him outside to drain him where it's cooler?"
To which the other replied "No, if we take him outside the big mosquitoes will take him away from us..."
Posted by: Jim Hart | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 01:02 PM
When my wife brought home those new Off anti-mosquito devices (look like a little, blue fan with a belt clip) I thought "What a waste of money and plastic." A month later and I love them! Sitting on my porch in the evening I normally get swarmed within seconds. With the Off device running I am mosquito bite free.
Posted by: Matt Needham | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 02:42 PM
A natural repellant I learned about in Mexico is this - take a lime (lemon would probably work too) cut it in half and push 8 to 10 cloves into each half, then place them on either side of the room, and relax...
Posted by: Neil | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 06:18 PM
In June of 2007, my son and I were prepared for a walk in Elk Island NP, near Edmonton. He was pretty much laminated in Deet, and I had caught a little of the overspray.
But not enough. As soon as we exited the truck, the alarm went up and I was covered. As I flailed away and staggered down the trail a few steps, all the while announcing my intention to cut short our hike, and he strolled nonchalantly but amused, I looked down to spy the remains of a once-proud animal.
"Good gawd, son," I shouted, "They've killed and eaten this Bison! Run for it!" He still doesn't believe me.
Posted by: Doug Brewer | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 07:31 PM
Cigars.
Posted by: Bill Bresler | Thursday, 05 August 2010 at 11:10 PM
Ummm...you probably won't like this, but it has been reported that drinking alcohol attracts mosquitoes. You can google this.
Sorry!(not that I am implying anything....)
Posted by: ben ng | Saturday, 07 August 2010 at 02:44 PM
LOL just catching up on article I have been able to read. Very funny and keep up the battle. You will have victory.
It would seem though that the enemy might have cohorts if your neighbors are not fighting the good fight. Giving up territory for strong holds. If you are opposed to the used of caustic chemicals , here is a place where you can find a more friendly way of continuing the battle.
http://www.shelterpop.com/2008/03/11/gardening-guide-homemade-bug-repellent-remedies-and-recipes/
Posted by: Ed Hamlin | Saturday, 07 August 2010 at 03:20 PM
Ben,
Not a problem here! I've been a teetotaler since 1990.
But I know what you mean.
Mike
Posted by: Mike Johnston | Saturday, 07 August 2010 at 03:59 PM
In Northern Ontario mosquitoes as they mature apply for and are granted a pilot's license, without an examination. The solution to most flying insects is to ensure the window screens on your house are
not damaged and properly installed. If you have central air conditioning in the house, keep the place cool, keep the windows closed and if one of the mosquitoes or similar flying critter gets into the house, a shot of WD40 will do them in. Oh and when they do get in a cool house, they slow down as the cool air is not good for their flying.
Posted by: Bryce Lee | Saturday, 07 August 2010 at 11:04 PM
There was a story a little while ago, about a sect of buddhists in the east, who has the rule to not kill any living thing at all. Well, the village had come under siege by very vicious, big, poisoned ants...
Their solution was to go public and sort of hint to the public that if somebody *else* were to go to their village with ant-killing gear, he would find everybody looking the other way! :-)
Posted by: Eolake Stobblehouse | Monday, 09 August 2010 at 01:56 AM