It was 18 degrees F this morning and the ground is covered with snow, but when I was driving my son to school this morning I saw a kid walking to school dressed in shoes, a parka, gloves, and shorts.
In other local news, the dog very enthusiastically called my attention to a pheasant in my backyard last week. Right here in the middle of town! It was a big, beautiful bird, with a flowing tail, and it was trying without much success to leave. Consensus amongst the neighbors is that it was a confused pheasant, probably lost or otherwise estranged from the wildlife refuge on the edge of town, where they get fed cracked corn.
And not long ago there was a home invasion here in my part of Wisconsin—by a goat. It seems a woman heard a "commotion" at her door, which she took for knocking. When she opened her door, a "strange" goat pushed its way in. (A rude strange goat.) It then proceeded to make its way about her house, knocking things over and generally causing an uproar. In the recording of her 911 call, the homeowner was quite volubly upset. She had many complaints about the goat's behavior. I wish I could somehow replicate for you the very distinctive way one says "goat" with a heavy Wisconsin accent when one is in a state of alarums. But—and this is somehow very typically Wisconsin—after she got to know it, the woman decided it was a nice goat, and that she liked it, so at last report she has decided to keep it. If no one claims it.
And if it wants to stay, of course.
In statewide news, it turns out that our government has been taking Federal anti-terrorism money for quite some time now, but not actually spending any money on anti-terrorism measures. While not strictly ethical on the face of things, this has a certain hard-headed practicality. We have more pressing things to spend money on, and we really don't have all that much here worth blowing up. And besides, it's too darned cold for terrorists.
Featured Comment by John Camp: "You have dozens of vulnerable cheese factories."
A month or two ago it was about -12F. I watched a girl walking down the street in a belly shirt (and her sweatshirt didn't quite cover) and jeans with holes in them. If she didn't stop at a starbucks I was going to have the problem making the decision of whether to call 911 or to give Darwinism some run.
Posted by: Tom | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 12:20 PM
You have dozens of vulnerable cheese factories.
Posted by: John Camp | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 12:42 PM
Hey that's racist! They could be radical bachelor farmer norwegian lutheran terrorists!
Posted by: KeithB | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 12:55 PM
I've been saying it for years, winter gets rid of insects and street gangs. Probably terrorists too.
Posted by: Robert Roaldi | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 01:05 PM
My in-laws, who live near Brown Deer, recently had a coyote waltz through their back yard. But he did not attempt a break-in.
Posted by: Ken Tanaka | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 01:17 PM
Now you're missing two-headed lambs, a comet and you'd be ready... :-)
Posted by: erlik | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 01:30 PM
The classic Charleston Geechee accent pronounces "goat" in two syllables: go-it'. There's no unique word for a rude or strange goat, alas.
My mothers family lives in the Poconos. You hear the occasional story of people letting BEARS into their houses 'cause they're so darn cute. Till they want to leave and they get upset, that is.
Posted by: kevin | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 02:07 PM
Ain't life grand here in the great Midwest. And fish'n opener is only 2.5 months away! Happy Fat Tuesday Mike.
Posted by: Christopher Lane | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 05:59 PM
A strange goat as opposed to one that she knows?
Posted by: Antony Shepherd | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 06:52 PM
A cheese shortage as a result of terrorist attacks in Wisconsin could be the final nail in our economic coffin. Nothing to blow up? Have you ever seen a cow explode? Not pretty. Madison's apathy about the potential for mayhem in Wisconsin is a little troubling.
Posted by: John Roberts | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 08:55 PM
Damn Mike my company sent me to an all day outdoor convention today and my face is so sunburned it isn't funny. The guy from Michigan was diggin' the warm temps. I couldn't go back to all the cold.
Posted by: EmmJay | Tuesday, 24 February 2009 at 11:45 PM
You got to watch those goats. Once while working down on the Navaho reservation a goat ate my notes. Seemed to favour the inner glued binding edge of the pages, leaving some tantalizing tatters of the outside edges. Damned goats.
Posted by: Michael | Wednesday, 25 February 2009 at 04:50 AM
You forgot to mention that the goat ate the chocolate cake that she had just baked. Or was that a different goat home invasion incident? :-)
Posted by: Will Sadler | Wednesday, 25 February 2009 at 12:18 PM
We live in the middle of the Twin Cities metro area, and over the years my wife and I have seen the following creatures in our yard: deer, pheasant, fox, groundhog, red, black, white, and gray squirrels, 13-lined ground squirrel, chipmunks, raccoons, opossums, mice, shrews, red-tail hawks, cooper's hawks, sharp-shin hawks, a barred owl, lots of different woodpeckers and other birds, and this year a flock of mallards. No goats or cows, though. I have a rather nice photo of the barred owl with a shrew dangling from its beak that I took through my kitchen window, and a not-so-good photo of the red-tail hawk munching on one of the mallards, also taken through one of our windows.
Posted by: Chuck Holst | Wednesday, 25 February 2009 at 04:12 PM